When I look around the darkness that surrounds me, Yahweh, you are suddenly everywhere-hovering in the cool fog yet somehow I feel incredibly far away from you, here, in this lonely place. Despite the fact that your very breath is beading upon my skin, my heart continues to sink with the earth.
You’ve ordained this darkness and that is becoming more and more obvious each time my attempt to escape it fails. I can run but I can’t hide and I ask myself, “Why run? Why hide? Why not face the darkness that chases me?”
Evertime I try and cling to a light other than your own Lord, it suddenly slips from my grasp like an elusive lightening bug. It hovers away, taunting me as it flashes it’s life light asking,
It’s a dark, cold, and quite forest. I’m paralyzed in waiting. The season of self-salvation is over and my own strength can no longer pick myself up as it seems to have evaporated into the air around me. Now, I need a savior who will come gently in and save me from my slumber.
But, there is first something here in the “all things” that is desperate for me to discover it. So, I’ll put my hands by my side and give way to the insane idea that this cold, dark season can actually produce fruit and truth. As the harsh winters of this earth are divinely ordained-this must be too.