It takes courage to to take the next step. It takes determination to take another breath. All at once, for me, this looks like taking another sip of coffee, getting up off the couch, and doing the next thing. Would this be easier with a significant other? I’d like to say yes but my mind knows that easier can be the difference between lifting 251 pounds and 250 pounds. Easier? Barely.
It’s hard to go it alone when you don’t want to. It’s discouraging when someone throws truth at you and it slides right off. It is so tempting to just give up and let go of the next thing but when that tiny spec of “maybe” looks up at you from deep inside your soul you hold on tight, grit your teeth, and pull yourself into the next thing.
Have you ever wondered why Job sat there scraping out at his sores with broken pottery in the ashes of his life? Maybe it was to feel more alive. maybe it was to remember he still had life or maybe it was an attempt to remove the filthy doubt from his soul. It’s anything but glamorous and it is soaked in discomfort but this is Jobs’ waiting on the Lord manifested. Job lost everything and still did not disown God. We have everything and we disown Him every day.
I can identify with Job. I also find myself scraping at the painful losses in my life allowing the fresh air to swirl inside me. My hope is that it will breathe life into me again.
Like Job, I would rather turn towards God in my difficulty rather than away.