It’s funny how year after year, this evening never fails to appear with all it’s sparkle and glamour. Another new start. Another clean slate; wiped blank of it’s mistakes and blunders. It’s incredible how one night can instill a motivation lost in every other day of the year. New Years eve is full of eager eyes looking forward to something new and exciting. Hopeful hearts lean in to the promise of a better version of the past year. Humanity needs this night to look forward and remember that there is a time and place for starting over.
Tonight, on this night of romantic midnight kisses, with garlic laden and onion swamped Chinese in one hand and white wine in the other (is my singleness showing?), I find myself looking backward, not forward. Where was I this time last year? Did I see myself here? Let me tell you, so much has changed between this night 365 days ago and right now. Maybe it’s good or maybe it’s bad or maybe it’s both. This can be one of the most bittersweet nights of the year if you let it. It can also teach you a great deal about yourself and where you’ve been.
Personally, I’ve made friends with heartbreak, made better friends with some fantastic people, moved, got a new car, ran a 10k, stood in a dear friends wedding, started and re-started a blog, and so much more. But tonight, as I look back and remember the big moments I also pay homage to all the little ones in-between. The moments where I did not want to get out of bed or the times I was lost in sadness or the awful mornings where I forgot my coffee on the counter. I pay homage to all those moments I spent creating a foundation for the big things that happened in my life this past year. I also salute all the little moments to come. It is going to be difficult, painful. and will most likely lead to a better version of myself as well as an adventure I could not have pictured fitting into 2014.
So, whether you’re preparing to lay one on your significant other or, like me, you’re searching for contentment at the bottom of a Chinese box and praying to the Lord there is ice cream still left in the freezer, remember to look back as well as forward. Find sweet sentiment in tonight as well as sobering truth. You won’t be in the same place this time next year for better or for worse. Enjoy the last little moments of 2014 while awaiting the big moments of 2015. There is so much to come but so much has already come to be. Remember it all and Happy 2015!
ToBeKT 